I have grouped like characteristics together in an attempt to avoid redundancy in divulging personal experiences and gain.
Traits/Characteristics I have:
Reliability -Quality of trustworthiness, accountability, integrity; mark of a constant or known variable
Reliability is an attribute that I understand well. I am a member of the Air Force whose core values begin with "integrity first." A lot of airmen think that this refers to honesty- to doing the right thing even when no one is looking- and they are right. It is more than that though. It is behaving in a reliable manner. It is being able to be counted upon to perform in a certain way. It is stepping up and taking responsibility for your decisions and actions.
Patience-Willingness to ignore annoyance and anxiety; tenacity to pursue a task after failure without disruption of temper
Resilience-Type of patience dealing specifically with criticism or setback
Having a thick skin-Resilience specifically to criticism; not easily offended or hurt
Tolerance for ambiguity-Understanding and patience for the lack of absolutes; either knowing the different motives or catalysts involved in precipitating situations or at least being aware of and respectful that there are
I have learned all of these characteristics from dealing with people. I like to think of the world as functioning in a clear-cut, concise and logical manner. It's easier to understand that way. When I was younger I used to think that people did too. I spent a great many of my younger years in anguish about the decisions people made with their lives - what they said to me, how they acted towards me, how they treated themselves or others, and how they would say one thing and do another. None of it made any sense.
After awhile I began to ask why. Then I opened my mind up to the only logical conclusion I could come to: If I believe everything works logically by cause and effect, and the situations I encounter involving people cannot be explained in that way, then I must be wrong. There must be more to it than that.
If I was going to find out what it was, I was going to have to be patient with people, grow a thick skin and become resilient in order to endure the pain of their criticism and behavior. That was easy.
The tolerance for ambiguity, however, only came within the last few years. I knew that people were complex and had many motives, but I did not understand and have tolerance for it until I experienced it within myself. I had to make decisions that weren't clear-cut, were not black and white, with no guarantee. But I had to make them none the less. I wanted many things for just as many reasons and I was assured of only one thing: I would never receive anything I was after as long as I stood still waiting for everything to become clear - to fit into my logical black and white color scheme. And so, armed with these qualities, I stepped out into the abyss . . .
Risk-taking-Wisely reaching beyond grasp when the benefit outweighs the cost or risk; necessary for growth
Adventurous-Willingness to engage in and enjoying spontaneity, flexibility, curiosity, and exploration, but not fool-hardy
Sense of adventure for the unknown-Adventurous
Flexibility-Adaptability to a situation; openness to new scenarios and change
Growing requires movement, it requires stretching and expansion. Necessarily, those require flexibility. From time to time, growth requires a calculated shot in the dark. You can have and do all of those things, but you are not going to grow unless you have this first: a sense of adventure for the unknown with the joyful willingness to embrace it.
My husband is in the Army and has been for the last 12 years. For the first two years we were together I stayed at home, only working occasionally at the local ice-cream shop. Before that, my work history consisted of 6 years of waiting tables. I looked into my future and easily saw that I was destined to one of two fates if I did not change my course. I would either end up spending my life in the restaurant industry or be a stay-at-home mom/housewife. The only thing I have against either of those noble pursuits is that they just weren't for me. I knew with all sincerity that neither of those options would bring me happiness. I wanted to travel, to learn a new skill, to go back to college and finish my degree, to apply myself, to challenge myself. So one day, I decided to join the Air Force.
I already knew this would make our marriage difficult if not impossible. He was stationed in Kentucky, and would be for the rest of his career. The one thing they tell you when you walk into the recruiter's office is that "you can tell us what you want, but the needs of the Air Force come first. There is no guarantee." So I did my research and chose a job that had the best likelihood of being stationed close to my husband. I studied hard and did the best I could on the test to give myself the greatest chance of getting what I want (if you score in a certain bracket, they will give you what you want despite what they tell you). No matter what I did to mitigate the risk, it was still a chance I was willing and knew I had to take.
If you're lucky, the universe will rain divine luck down on you every once in a while. I won the cosmic lottery. I got the job I wanted, at the closest possible duty station to my husband. I have the option to stay here for an entire fulfilling career if I want (or at least until my husband retires). We're close enough to live together. Now we have a son. I'm doing things I would have thought impossible 5 years ago. I've already learned skills that will set up the rest of my life so that I'll never have to wait another table. I've finished my Associates, and as you know am pursuing my B.A. None of this would have been possible had I not stayed flexible and adventurous, and had I not taken the risk.
Preference for diversity-Observational fondness and inquisitiveness for the unknown; thirst for knowledge
Preference for new social roles-Experiential aspect of preference for diversity; desire for the opportunity to behave in different ways
Broad interests-Curiosity and willingness to learn or try many different things; thirst for experience
A broad education-Understanding of a variety of different, even opposing, disciplines and ideas
A sense of dissatisfaction with monodisciplinary constraints-Lack of fulfillment from a singular perspective and approach to problems
When I stop by the convenience store to grab something to drink, I rarely have a preconceived notion of what I want. My drink selection process works like this:
How much time do you have?
A) None.
B) Plenty!
If A, grab something that has a pretty color but is non-alcoholic and most likely does not cause cancer in lab rats.
If B, pick something you've never tried before, or you haven't had in a long time.
I've been surprised at the drinks I never knew I liked, and from time to time that people can actually even market other ones.
I had an interesting background. My school system wasn't the best - I guess it was as good as you could expect from Paden, Oklahoma. I'd be impressed if you didn't have to look that up on a map. Our electives were AG and Home Ec. We did have baseball and basketball, but we had to co-op with a town 6 miles away just to have enough players to make a team. I didn't really learn anything there.
But education doesn't just come from school. Outside of the school system I learned many skills and subjects. I play piano, guitar and sing. I skate. I draw and paint; I take photos and edit them. I write poetry. I studied religion, philosophy, astronomy, geology, physics (without all the math). I dance. I build circuit boards. I practice jiu-jitsu. I participate in triathlons. There is so much more, but that is not important. I've done all this driven on interest in learning new things and finding new approaches to answer the questions I'm constantly faced with throughout life.
High degree of ego strength-Self-assured of own ability and judgment, but not to cockiness
Considerable initiative and assertiveness-Product of self-confidence; unafraid to ask questions, explore ideas or express yourself (tactfully)
Self-secure-Self-confidence
When I was little, I was shy, but I was never afraid to ask "why." Now, I'm the low man on the totem pole at work. Listening certainly serves me well, but the inability to ask for clarification or explanation would only inhibit me, and sometimes even the project. The way I see it, I have nothing to lose by expressing my ideas on a subject: either I will be wrong and learn something, or I will stumble across something that wasn't thought of. Win-win.
Ability to work in groups-Can practice the art of patience, communication, cooperation, constructive criticism, leadership and followership
Sensitivity to others-Empathy; sense of selflessness
In Basic Military Training, you are assigned to a flight of 50 individuals. That group is then split into 4 "elements" each with its own respective leader. Then there is a "dorm chief" who is responsible for the flight in the absence of the Training Instructor (TI). The dorm chief is responsible for making sure the flight operates smoothly. Because I was the oldest, I was picked for that spot.
I learned a lot of valuable lessons packed into those brief weeks. I learned that being a leader in a group is just as valuable as any other position in that group. In fact, there is more of a responsibility on the leader to possess those qualities and facilitate group development. It was difficult to be sensitive to everyone - at least I used to confuse that with pleasing everyone. In the end I had validated that no matter how much you work your hardest to find the best solution for everyone involved, the larger the group, the more likely you will have people unhappy about one decision or another. You need patience, communication, cooperation, constructive criticism, leadership and followership skills whatever part of the group you play your role.
Competence in one's fieldJustified self-confidence earned through experience and application of knowledge learned
You can study for years, but never gain competence without practical application of knowledge. Likewise, you can repeat a task thousands of times, but never gain competence in your field without a deeper understanding of "why" and "how" your task is important.
I always get nervous when I walk into a new field of work. Everything is such a mystery - it seems so difficult, with so many steps, I'm taken aback that some tasks can even be mastered. It's usually because I forget about time, and people's amazing ability to learn.
Within a year, I have gone from knowing nothing to the lead technician in a field I didn't even know existed. It's a combination of working closely with brilliant and patient individuals, an insatiable appetite for learning, and the opportunity, trust and responsibility given to apply what I've learned as well as experiment with new ideas.
Need for achievement-Thirst for growth
I feel this is the most important. Without this, I see attaining all those other traits as an arduous, painful and involuntary task. But once you have this, everything else is simply a matter of time. Those with a need for achievement tend to make the most out of every experience life gives them. They desire to be better, to know more. That is being alive.
No comments:
Post a Comment